Having a moment and having fun..=)

The recent weekend, i need some stress release time. I invited some girlfriends out, but the only one who wanted and available was Izzah zainuddin (IzazeeZdin). The activities we had in mind was movie, bowling, shopping, karaoke and even just jalan-jalan. 

At the end , we choose tom watch the latest chick/family flick "What to expect, when you are expecting ".It was an adaptation from book to the big screen . Its a compilation of mothers stories and personal memories of giving birth, problems, happiness and strength of woman/mothers and everyone around them from the monet they got the news to the day the bundle of joy come into this world. 

My review to the movie is 4/5

Upon reaching One Utama, we first decided to buy some movie tickets. Me and Izza was so excited that we both had CIMB debit/credit card. For the past 3-4 months, hubby and I would enjoy going to GSC cinemas to watch the new release movies as for CIMB cardholders they had a promotion of Buy1Free1 movie tickets. But to our disappointment, the promotion had just ended about 1-2weeks ago.. Aggggrrr!!!! We were angry and disappointed but what r we to do, so we end up paying the normal RM12 per ticket. But that god the movie was worth it..=)

Since we had time to spare before the movie starts, we had lunch first as Izza hadnt had breakfast. =). We decided to share a Quesadilla combo at Chilles and also enjoy each Fruit Juices. We had about 1hour plus to chitchat and enjoy the refillable drinks while waiting for the 4pm movie to start..=). 

After the 1hour 40mins movie, we decided to get some dessert before heading home. Since she wanted a rutbir and i wanted some waffle, we decided to go to my favourite restaurant in OneUtama new wing  called/known as NewyorkNewyork Deli. This place is situated right in-front of cold storage entrance at the new wing of the One Utama shopping centre.

Since i have been coming here for the last 4 years, through staff changes and management changes, they are still some of the old staff who recognizes me ...=). Since they r changing some of the recipes, they actually gave me and Izza complimentary soup for me to try and comment on the new recipe. Its still nice, however the new recipe is a bit too sweet for my taste. But that's my comment to the new recipe, some may like it thou..=)

After looking through the menu, Izza stick to her first choice of Rutbir Float and i decided to get the Honey Waffle with vanilla ice-cream. It was yummy...!!!! I will miss some of the staff, as they will soon be moving on from the restaurant. Because of the management, they have lost quite a lot of awesome staff, managers and even foreign workers these past years. Thank god for Facebook, i am still keeping in touch with most of them!! Anyways, all the best for them all, and to Nine and William (Myanmar staffs). I will come by one in a while to visit all of u ..!!!=)... <3 u guys...!!

All in all, weall had an awesome day out and about. and we promise we will come by to NewyorkNewyork before June ends to see the staffs for the last time before continue their journey elsewhere..=)

It was an awesome day out.. and Hopefully more to come..!!!=)...

Cant wait for the next outing...Hopefully next time we can get a group of girls for a girly day out..!!

Peace Out!!

Wanna dine at Nyny??

New York New York Deli (opposite Cold Storage)
LG311 – Lower Ground Floor
1 Utama Shopping Centre
Bandar UtamaTel: 03-7727 9400

The Warrior and Queen is my Life.... - Part V-

{Continued from Part IV}

The moment my family went back home about 11pm, mama’s heart began beeping noisily, nurses and doctors began coming in and out of her room. Some of them were giving me haunting looks that gave so much meaning that I knew this was it … I called my brother and father and aunts and soon they were at the hospital again. The monitor and rollercoaster went on for 2 hours and soon my mom was stable again.. Since it was late, my brother and me dozed off sometime during the night.
 My aunts and dad left again for home.

At about 4am, my brother and I were awakened by the loud noise coming form the heart monitor. And the loud *teeettttttt* would forever be ringing in my head and my nightmares. Soon, doctors and nurses crowded the room… During the course my mom was at the hospital she signed a document that indicated she should not be resuscitate (DNR).  Knowing that this could be the end, I called my dad to come to the hospital. However he accidently left his phone at the hospital. After almost 2hours of calling we got through my cousin who was in sungapore at that time who called his mom (who was at my house) of the situation and by then it was the end . The sound of that *teeetttttt* was so deafening that I stood frozen from shocked.  The only thing I could think and muster the strength to do was message my close families and inform what had happened and called my husband. From what I could remember, all I wanted was my husband to be there with me. And thank god my brother was there, as I was frozen with shock. Since it was an office day, everyone tried their best to rushed to the hospital. Soon, families, friends and people that I don’t recognize and I haven’t seen in ages, flooded the hospital corridors. Soon news of my mom passing flooded and circulated on Facebook and friends and families near and far knew of the news.

It felt like forever for my husband to reach me. And soon my aunts (my moms and dads side), my dad, my grandma (my mom’s adopted mom) and close families were at the hospital. Since the hospital was equipped to do what’s necessary to get my mom “ready” to meet her maker. We took care of all the preparation at the hospital itself. Soon after we drove back home, bringing her back home for the last time. Reaching home I was lost in the crowd that gathered at my house. I barely could see or recognize faces of who was there. I was just “LOST”. Soon people were giving their last respect and got to “see” and kiss my mom for the last time. And soon she was driven to the nearby mosque to be given her last blessing and to be prayed by all her loved ones.

I was at home lost and crying my heart out in my room. However, I truly appreciate EVERYONE that came to the mosque to pray for her safe return to the arms of ALLAH.  I learned from families that there were hundreds of people at the mosque. What makes me sad but proud was when I found out that a lot of my friends and their families were at the mosque giving their last respect for my mom. And even more touching was some of the friends and their families that came were people that I have encountered throughout my life and even though we weren’t even close they took time out of their schedule to be there. For that may Allah bless all of your souls…!!

After ZUHUR prayers, my mum was safely buried at the Muslim cemetery located in USJ21. A small crowd showed up to give their last respects and help to lay her to rest in the ground where her body will lay in peace and her soul be set free. It was nice to see familiar faces, close families and even my husbands side of the family also came to give their prayers to her.

That night, at the Surau beside my house a tahlil (prayers for passed souls) was organized and friends and families from all around who couldn’t make it during the day came to pray, berzikir (religious chanting) and wished condolences to the families,. I was still in the state of shocked. Since it was almost 30hours plus since I last slept or ate anything, my body just couldn’t take it and I just collapsed into a silence nightmare of awareness. Neither sleeping nor awake, I was in limbo….

The next few days was the hardest cause I would always want to call my moms hand phone asking what she wants to eat or for me to bring her anything (a reflex as it was a routine phone call for the past 3 months),I would constantly think of going to the hospital to visit her.. And I would sometimes think I could still hear her calling my name. Soon, the emptiness will always filled me with tears when reality hits that she will never be with me ever again. This limbo feeling hit my whole family. It took us a  few weeks to really grasp what had happened. The support from my Aunts, Uncles, Grandma, my in-laws, my hubby and my family especially my brother gave me the strength to make it through the hard times. My brother and I bonded and became much closer then we were because of this situation…=)..

Next month would be the 1year anniversary of her passing. As much as I miss her, I know she is in a better place. She is no longer suffering, struggling or in pain. Which, I would prefer rather then for her to be alive but in constant pain. I hope she is looking down on us and is proud of how we all turned out. May Allah rest your soul Mama. You will always and forever remain in my heart. Whenever I look in the mirror, it will always bring me warmth that there’s a little piece of you within me. I hope to one day to grow up to be like YOU….

I miss you… I love you….

You are truly the warrior and QUEEN of my heart..!!

~ Al-Fathihah ~

The Warrior and Queen is my Life.... - Part IV-

{Continued from Part III}

I believe and want to believe that for the duration of her hospitalization and her sickness that I did my best for her.

Since I was working at the time, I truly appreciate my company ForeFront Studio (FFS) and Keation Corporation for allowing to me take time off whenever I needed too. They were soo gracious as allowing me to go home early almost everyday for me to make it in time to see my mom everyday before the visiting hours finish. From Ara Damansara to HUKM it would take me almost 1-2 hours to reach, depending on the evening traffic. Being Kuala Lumpur and federal highway, it’s always jammed up and traffic can back up for miles longs. Mama would feel bad that I am jeopardizing my work to come and see her, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My family and I had a schedule, on whom and what time someone to be there. Since I was working, I would take the evening shift, my brother would take the noon shift, and whenever my dad could he’ll take the morning shift. During the weekends we’ll trade shifts around, so everyone would also have time for themselves to get other things done…

Mama was always happy to have us all around, I truly appreciate everyone that came by to visit her from my husband (then boyfriend), my In-laws, my best friend Aiman, hubby’s best friend Helmi@Gary, relatives, my mom’s colleagues and even her friends came to visit her and this always made her feel happy . She was most touched when my aunts and uncle and even my grandma from my fathers side came down ALL the way from Singapore. She made me promise never to call and “menyusahkan” anyone especially my dad’s side, but in this case I just had too. As it’s a family matter and it was serious. It’s the one thing now I looked back and I know I did the right thing. As that was the last time my grandma “BABA” got so see my mom….

Every time I was with her, all we do is talk, talk and talk.. hahaha… Non stop gossiping and sharing of all the things we would one day do together … And all the things she wanted to do and would do when she gets out of the hospital. Since I was planning for my wedding in November, she would advice me a lot on marriage, patients and savings. It gave me hope that she was going to be there. And I was hoping that she was going to be …=)…  On Sunday, all she wanted was to take a bath. So I gave her a bath and changed her diaper. We talked for a while and I waited for her to sleep and kissed her goodbye and left to go home for the night.

On Monday afternoon, I got a call from my brother that the doctor needed a family member to be at the hospital at night. Since I have slept over a few times, I assume it was the routine sleepover. I went back home like any other day and packed things for my overnight at the hospital. What awaits me at the hospital was soo scary, my mom was moved from the normal ward to the ICU. Her health was deteriorating, and she didn’t look so good. She could barely open her eyes and barely could utter any words. But when u spoke to her, she would acknowledge by mumbling, moving her fingers or even grasping tighter whosever hand she was holding.

That evening I called Singapore to inform that her health had gone for the worse and just to let then know the situation. I also called her close friends (colleagues) and families even my in-laws came to see her. That night everyone sat, waited and prayed hard for her to make it through the night. Even though I know it was bad, I still felt that it’ll be ok. That night 2 of my aunts from Singapore was at the hospital. Learning how bad it was, they rushed on the earliest flight they could to reach the hospital to see my mother. Since they didn’t allow more than 2 people to sleepover at the hospital, I and hubby volunteered since I was packed and ready for it.  Everyone went back and my aunts followed my dad back home.

The next day came, and everyone was happy that she made though the night. Even though she wasn’t responding much but doctors were saying that she was stable and that she will make it. That day my aunts, dad and brother took care of her. While hubby and I went back and got some rest and sleep. That evening I came alone to take care of my mother during the night. This was the night I will never forget….

                                              { to be continued in Part V }

The Warrior and Queen is my Life.... - Part III -

{Continued from Part II }

We were all in the state of shock. But knowing how serious it has become, everything went overdrive.  Everyone was trying their best to help my mom and make her everyday living as stress free and as easy on her as we all could.

We soon moved my single day bed downstairs, so she didn’t have to go up and down the stairs as much as some days even moving for her is like torture. She will get cramps so bad that all she could do was lie down and just control her breathing to lessen the pain but always with tears in her eyes. There were moments that we would moan and growl aloud as the pain was too hard for her to bare. And the worst feeling any human, child or anyone can feel is, HELPLESS-ness. And that’s how my whole family felt… =(.. We were totally helpless, as we couldn’t do anything to make it better for her.

Everything she does was torture for her, She couldn’t pass motion… couldn’t eat… couldn’t sleep properly… Everything was like a nightmare for her. And we as her kids, it broke our hearts just to see her so weak, helpless and crying all the time.

There were times the pain and ordeal was just too much for her. She would lock herself in her room and all we could her were sniffles, crying and painful moans. And in those moments, she doesn’t want anyone around her. So, my brother and I would leave our bedroom door open and our ears peeled for any calls or indication that she needed us. Which either one of us would go running and assist her with anything that she needed.

However, in June she had to be hospitalised at HUKM as they had to do regular checkups to monitor the cancer. And soon Dr. suggested my mom to start her chemotherapy, which my mom was scared as she was afraid of losing hair and with everyone telling her stories of other negative account of the chemotherapy.. She was in dilemma on whether to go thru with it or not. With the advice and moral support from my Aunts, she decided that she wants to go thru with the chemotherapy.

The saddest thing for me was that, during her time in the hospital, she wanted to eat or drink things that we healthy people took for grated. Examples like cendol, fried mee/kueyteow/meehoon, crunchy vegetables and basically almost all food groups. She couldn’t eat or swallow anything. The only thing her body would allow her to eat was porridge and soups, and the only “lauks” she can eat were the gravy of anything. Even that she could only swallow a few spoonfuls at each meal. She has always been a foodie like me, but seeing her long for things she could not have was heartbreaking. As she would tell me stories of the places she’s been in her life and good food that she enjoyed, and how she wished for anything to be able to do and eat things that she forbid herself to have all these years. And I truly regret not spending my free time, taking her out and even taking her places that she wants to go. My reasons were always NO time and NO money, oh how I wish I could take it all back and gave HER anything and everything I could. *sigh* teary*regret*

After a week or two being in the hospital, the symptoms got sooo bad that soon her body couldn’t control her bowel motions. Her body would just go at odd times and at any moment. That was when we had to start her with adult diapers. At first she would decline and said she could go on without it, but pretty soon she had to use it whether she like to or not. In the beginning she preferred to wear it herself, as the symptoms worsen soon the nurses has to help her and I slowly learn how to as well. It broke my heart to see my mother being embarrass to ask me to help her. Soon she began telling me stories of how I was with diapers when I was younger, and soon she was ok and comfortable with me changing her diapers.

With all the tubes and wires attached to her body, it was hard for her to take baths at water CANNOT be in contact with the tubes and wires. And with being the only daughter, soon I took charge for bathing my mother. It brought tears to my eyes, when I think back at how happy she was, after each time that I shampoo and wipes her with scented shower gels. She was soo grateful, that It made me feel guilty. It was my responsibility to help her, and I do. But seeing that small things that I NOW do means soo much to her, it just made me realize all the years that I took HER for granted.

I have appreciated all she has ever done for me, but the last 2-3 months of taking care of her I was really aware how little I do for her. And that will always be something I will regret and will 

haunt me for the rest of my life…. =(

{ to be continued in Part IV}

First Valentine, Pastic Cafe.. (Part II)

Since my birthday and valentine day is about 4 days apart. 

We always celebrate it together. However, this is was different as it 

was my first bday/vday celebration as hubby and wifey..=)

Our normal celebration consist of mamak, or any simple kopitiam/bistro and 

maybe a movie. But this year for my bday/vday we decided to go 

for a valentine set lunch and a movie. 

Wanna know what, if u read my previous blog i did say that we are not the type that does the over-the-top celebrations. But the catch was, it may look that it was a pricey lunch , we actually had it for a fraction on the price with the help of the awesome Groupon. The normal price for the four course meal was about RM112++ (RM129.95), we had it for only RM 58. And this is what we had, check it out.... 

The place is called PASTIS Cafe and dining. 

The prices were not as high as i thought and the food is delicious..!!!

   Hubby and I decided to try their summer lemonade.. It was just soo sour, but refreshing!!

 1st Course : Both of us decided on the Cream of Wild Mushroom Soup..=) 

 2nd Course : We each tried a Prawn cocktail and Pandan chicken

  

 3rd Course : Its was either Grilled Salmon or Mushroom Risotto with 

stuffed chicken breast. Since hubby and i both r not a big fan 

of salmon. We both took the Mushroom Risotto.. 

And Boy, It was DELICIOUS...!!

Of course the most awesome part of any dinner is the dessert , with the array of desserts on display in their dessert case. I was truly excited to end the lunch with mouth-watering and tantalizing dessert. The choices that they gave was 

*Panna cotta with Berry Sauce

*Fruit Sorbet

*Trio Crème Brulee

Hubby was pretty full but who can say no to desserts!!

 4th Course : Dessert was awesome we end up choosing PannaCotta and TrioCremeBrulee. 

As much as both were very delicious, the Trio Crème Brulee stole the show. 

We were given Vanilla, Cherry and Coffee Crème Brulee. Hubby and me end 

up fighting for the Cherry Crème Brulee... Its to die for..!!

And it was definitely worth the amout we paid for. 

All in all we had a fantastic time just the two of us...

Xoxoxo, Love my hubby to bits..!!

Lets see whats instore for me next year.. *coughs* hehehe

First Valentine, Chocolate.. (Part I)

Valentine has always been known to be a day for lovers. 

However, for me and hubby EVERYDAY is our love day.

 We show our love for each other without caring of day, time ,or date.

However, this year was our first year of being husband and wife... hehehe 

*it still give me tingling feeling whenever i say that*

So , although we didnt go celebrate it with an over-the-top gestures..

It was an awesome surprise to have gotten a box of home made chocolate..=) 

A movie and a lunch date..!! (more on that in the next entry..=))

It was such a sweet though from hubby that i was 

such an surprise for me ..=)

♥ you Hubby!! Muahss

Won a Stila Giveway!!!

Hey Peeps,

Recently I entered a giveaway competition held by an 

awesome product review blog..

 "Beauty Comes From Within "   

(http://fibieelyh.blogspot.com/). 

The Blogger is this awesome beauty by the name Fibee Liew.. 

I have been checking out her blog for quiet sometime. She has been

 giving honest reviews on products that she is using and have encountered. 

When i saw that she was having this give-aways..

 I couldnt help but trying my luck.. 

(http://fibieelyh.blogspot.com/2012/04/stila-products-giveaway.html)

 And Boy, was LUCK on my side..=).. hehehe ...

I was ecstatic when I receive an email from her stating that I was one 

of 4 of the winners of the give-aways..

http://fibieelyh.blogspot.com/2012/05/stila-brand-new-products-give-away.html

It was a random selection, but i am happy to try Stila products. 

Which i couldn't afford to buy as they r pretty pricey for me who is more of a bargain junkie..=)

Checkout what i got... I would've love to get the eye liners.. hahaha .. but i am pretty much happy with the Smudge Crayon Waterproof Eye Colour (Primer+Shadow+Liner) and the Pearl Shimmer EyeShadow. The colours are beautiful and waterproof..!!!

Absolutely ♥.....♥.....♥ all the product!!

Thanks Beauty Comes from Within!!!

Cant wait for other giveaways...!!!

The Warrior and Queen is my Life.... - Part II -

{Continued from Part I }

Me and my boyfriend has been dating for the past 7 years, although my mom was at first reluctant for me to be in a serious committed relationship with an older guy when I was just 18 years old. Not because she didn’t approve of the guy, it was because she doesn’t want me getting too serious or married at a young age. After a almost seven years of seeing me genuinely happy with my boyfriend. She finally breach the subject of marriage , after suggesting and agreeing to meet with His parents in February we were soon in agreement that the wedding will be held at the end of the year in November . I was ecstatic but was flustered at how soon the month was approaching.

With the planning in progress and excitement building up , my mom slowly express the concern that the symptoms of her 2009 cancer was haunting her and the pain and aches were similar as it was years ago .  In April of 2011, she frequented HUKM with concerns she was having that the cancer is back. The nurses without checking her medical history at HUKM told my mum that the symptoms that she was having was because of the result of Menopause.

Only after harsh persistent from my brother and I, to one of the doctors in charge, only then my mom’s medical history was looked into and only then they took a better examination of her. In May, we got back the results of all the blood test, x-rays and whatever results of test they did on her body. The news was devastating, after 4 years of coming for regular check-up’s , pep smear and whatever blood test at HUKM and not once was the result a negative one. The result came back negative of all accounts, from a stupid comment of it being “result if menopause” suddenly became a nightmare for the whole family… The cancer was back had already escalated to a stage four cancer with the cell already covered her lungs, liver, basically her whole upper body.

This time I was ready and aware my part in my family, I was with my mom when we got the bad news. My heart dropped and relieving that moment back at the doctor’s office when we got the bad news bringing tears to my eyes, made my palms cold and clammy as it was at that moment. The look my mom HAD will forever haunt me. Her disbelief of the news after coming for regular checkups , eating all her medication, taking care of what she ate and drink (beside the one-in-a-while treats she gave herself) , doing all and everything the doctors ever told her to do .. She had a hard time understanding where it went wrong. Everyone was…

{ to be continued in Part III }

The Warrior and Queen is my Life.... - Part I -

She is one of the strongest women i know. She is beautiful, awesome, caring, strong and  independent. She taught me well. She has been the rock everyone holds on to and been the rainbow in every storm. She has been a great obedient daughter, a great aunt, a loyal and respectful wife and a very loving and nurturing mother. She has endured a lot in her life, the universe has thrown a lot of curve ball in her and yet builds her strength to stand up and walk again.

The first major setback she had was when she was diagnose with a stage 2 ovarian cancer back in 2009. That shook us all, her immediate family, extended family members and friends. But she over come it and proceed to do and overcome her radiotherapy. It was hard for her, and with the help of my beloved aunts and uncle who have given her sooo much strength and support, she overcome the demon that was her cancer and stood back on her feet and proceed to live life the way she wants it and enjoyed to her hearts desire.

When she first was hit and recovered from this disease, I honestly and truthfully didn’t know how to act, react and assist her. Whether, I was ignorant, heartless or just plain stupid… I didn’t do much to help her overcome it, I blame the “She-didn’t-ask-me-to” attitude in me. If she never asked or tell me to do.. I wouldn’t even do anything. I was the useless daughter. I focus on work and just let go of the reality of the situation and went and stayed in my own “everything’s-ok” land.

As far as I knew she looked ok, besides being tired at times, I was only aware that she cooked, cleaned, and didn’t everything as though nothing happened. This was the useless daughter that I was. I didn’t help with much if the chores, even her doctor’s appointment I didn’t even bother to know or even asked if she wanted me to accompany her.
Either I’ve forgotten, want to forget or just being ignorant on the fact that my mum just overcome the stage 2 cancer. I was oblivious with the situation. I was happy living whatever “happy life “I thought I was having. Surrounding myself with friends, works and busying myself with unimportant things rather than having moments of understanding what my mum was going through. ....

{continued on Part 2)

It's been a while

Hey everyone..... i know its been a while since i last updated my blog... *sigh*.. so much has happen since my last post . I have so much jumbled up feelings that i dunno what to say or do at times... I wanna let u know in a second... Just that i dont know where to start ... um ... I guess ill just list it down.. and later on ill elaborate one by one in my future blogs...

1)  The most ultimate devastating moment in my 2011 ,is that i LOST the        
      person that i love the most .. She was the rock my family lean on.. and she
      was my go-to person in need on advice or just needed someone
      to just listen to my wines, problem.. and even share my happiness.
      After battling cancer since 2009, It came back and took her away from me
      =(.. I dont hate god for taking her away, im happy that her misery, her
      pain and her torment has ended. But im selfish as i want her with me for
      my big day, to share my happiness... But i know she blessed the marriage
      and bless the person i choose. =). And i know she's happy in heaven and
      always looking down on me and my family ...

2) After the heart-breaking lost of my mother, ppl QUESTIONED my decision
    to go through with my MOST happy occasion  for 2011...YES, Im getting
    Married!!! hehehe ... But what ppl dont know or should know is that .
    It was one of my mom's last wishes for the occasion to keep going . She
    made my dad, myself and my families promised that ".. the show must go
    on, DO NOT CANCELLED" .... So, this is for her. I can still feel her around
    me at times. I sometimes get caught off guard ,when there are moments
    that i forgot that she is no longer with me .  But i know she will always look
    down on me and my fiancée, my brother and my future.. and She was, will
    and always be our Guardian Angel =)..

3) I have finally come to terms and realize that i have also lost a friendship
    with a dear friend that i though was a "Friends for Life" ...  But looking
    back, i just feel numb..  Even after being friends for soo long i realize
    she doesn't know me at all .One thing with me or the " +/-" thing about
    me, depending on how u see it. I will I cant even if i want too. Cause
   for me , when i loved someone or something i remember all the happiness,
   good times, and even the ultimate bad times. Something in me remember
   even the smallest things.  As much as misunderstanding goes, there
   are some problems that cant be cure with a Sorry . Just because u've
   forgotten or want to forget. I will always and still miss that Girl that i use to
   call my "Best friend". But i dont see even the shadow of that girl that i
   know... thats the part that i regret and miss the most. But i know
   She's happy with her new life, new friends.. At the end of the day thats
   all she ever deserve... =).

These are the major events /ordeal in my life for the year of 2011... Although i have more to share... but this will be all for my post for today .  I will share the story individually soon... For those of you who took the time to read through my Blog... Bless you always ... and Insyallah will try to update more hot spot and new places and activities to try hehehe ...=)....

xoxoxoxo, Mie...!!