The Warrior and Queen is my Life.... - Part II -

{Continued from Part I }

Me and my boyfriend has been dating for the past 7 years, although my mom was at first reluctant for me to be in a serious committed relationship with an older guy when I was just 18 years old. Not because she didn’t approve of the guy, it was because she doesn’t want me getting too serious or married at a young age. After a almost seven years of seeing me genuinely happy with my boyfriend. She finally breach the subject of marriage , after suggesting and agreeing to meet with His parents in February we were soon in agreement that the wedding will be held at the end of the year in November . I was ecstatic but was flustered at how soon the month was approaching.

With the planning in progress and excitement building up , my mom slowly express the concern that the symptoms of her 2009 cancer was haunting her and the pain and aches were similar as it was years ago .  In April of 2011, she frequented HUKM with concerns she was having that the cancer is back. The nurses without checking her medical history at HUKM told my mum that the symptoms that she was having was because of the result of Menopause.

Only after harsh persistent from my brother and I, to one of the doctors in charge, only then my mom’s medical history was looked into and only then they took a better examination of her. In May, we got back the results of all the blood test, x-rays and whatever results of test they did on her body. The news was devastating, after 4 years of coming for regular check-up’s , pep smear and whatever blood test at HUKM and not once was the result a negative one. The result came back negative of all accounts, from a stupid comment of it being “result if menopause” suddenly became a nightmare for the whole family… The cancer was back had already escalated to a stage four cancer with the cell already covered her lungs, liver, basically her whole upper body.

This time I was ready and aware my part in my family, I was with my mom when we got the bad news. My heart dropped and relieving that moment back at the doctor’s office when we got the bad news bringing tears to my eyes, made my palms cold and clammy as it was at that moment. The look my mom HAD will forever haunt me. Her disbelief of the news after coming for regular checkups , eating all her medication, taking care of what she ate and drink (beside the one-in-a-while treats she gave herself) , doing all and everything the doctors ever told her to do .. She had a hard time understanding where it went wrong. Everyone was…

{ to be continued in Part III }

The Warrior and Queen is my Life.... - Part I -

She is one of the strongest women i know. She is beautiful, awesome, caring, strong and  independent. She taught me well. She has been the rock everyone holds on to and been the rainbow in every storm. She has been a great obedient daughter, a great aunt, a loyal and respectful wife and a very loving and nurturing mother. She has endured a lot in her life, the universe has thrown a lot of curve ball in her and yet builds her strength to stand up and walk again.

The first major setback she had was when she was diagnose with a stage 2 ovarian cancer back in 2009. That shook us all, her immediate family, extended family members and friends. But she over come it and proceed to do and overcome her radiotherapy. It was hard for her, and with the help of my beloved aunts and uncle who have given her sooo much strength and support, she overcome the demon that was her cancer and stood back on her feet and proceed to live life the way she wants it and enjoyed to her hearts desire.

When she first was hit and recovered from this disease, I honestly and truthfully didn’t know how to act, react and assist her. Whether, I was ignorant, heartless or just plain stupid… I didn’t do much to help her overcome it, I blame the “She-didn’t-ask-me-to” attitude in me. If she never asked or tell me to do.. I wouldn’t even do anything. I was the useless daughter. I focus on work and just let go of the reality of the situation and went and stayed in my own “everything’s-ok” land.

As far as I knew she looked ok, besides being tired at times, I was only aware that she cooked, cleaned, and didn’t everything as though nothing happened. This was the useless daughter that I was. I didn’t help with much if the chores, even her doctor’s appointment I didn’t even bother to know or even asked if she wanted me to accompany her.
Either I’ve forgotten, want to forget or just being ignorant on the fact that my mum just overcome the stage 2 cancer. I was oblivious with the situation. I was happy living whatever “happy life “I thought I was having. Surrounding myself with friends, works and busying myself with unimportant things rather than having moments of understanding what my mum was going through. ....

{continued on Part 2)